When you first get together, blooming. The two of you connect on such an incredible level. Before you know it, you are pronounced husband and wife, on your way to live happily ever after, right?
Well, in many cases a happily ever after doesn’t really happen anymore.
Faced with so many pressures that come with 21st-century life, many couples are on the brink of breaking up.
Some couples try to work through problems all by themselves. Their attempts often lead up to be fruitless. As a result, even more, hurt can be caused due to miscommunication, resentment, distrust, and even hatred.
So, what do you do when you are in a situation where you don’t see any way out?
Don’t see how something so broken can be ever fixed?
If only you could push the ‘rewind’ button and go back to the very beginning when there were no issues, no baggage, and no life stresses.
In these moments of feeling frustrated, powerless, and broken, couples usually don’t have the tools to mend their broken relationships. Divorce seems like the only option to end the suffering. But like famous Dr. Phil would say, “Divorce only opens up a big can of brand new problems.”
Reaching out for help might be the only saving grace for your marriage. Marriage counseling is an excellent tool that can help couples during difficult times.
Many studies have shown that couples who engage in counseling end up much happier and healthier in the end. Marriages that were on the brink of death, got revived through counseling. Learn more about couples therapy and marriage counseling from this site: https://www.talkspace.com/blog/everything-you-need-to-know-about-couples-therapy/.
Does it really work? Since all situations are so different from the other, one can’t assume that all relationships are mendable through therapy. We take a deeper look into the world of marriage counseling; why people consider it as a resolvent, how it can help, and whether it is a long-term solution for struggling couples.
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Is Marriage Counseling Right for Us?
Since all relationship scenarios differ from each other, it’s not as straightforward as ‘yes’. Couples think that their problems aren’t as big or bad as others. As a rule, you don’t have to be in the middle of an affair, financial struggle, or heated argument for you to seek counseling.
Many couples can benefit from counseling at the start of smaller problems. This will allow the two of you to find better coping mechanisms to avoid small problems morphing into much bigger ones.
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When isn’t Marriage Counseling for You?
Before we figure out whether you and your partner will benefit from therapy, we should first look at scenarios where therapy shouldn’t be an option.
In relationships where any form of abuse is present, the relationship shouldn’t be pursued. When a man, woman, or child is being physically, sexually, or brutally abused the victim should run for the hills as soon as possible.
When your partner has no respect for you, your body, or your child’s, then no amount of therapy will help.
Even counselors will advise individuals in abusive relationships to get a divorce. Abusers are usually incurable, and it will take a lot of self-reflection and introspection for them to change their ways. If a man or woman, continue to physically abuse another without attempting to change their ways or seeking individual professional help.
Then it’s a lost cause.
No man or woman should ever be in an unsafe situation. You can discover more here, to find out about when it isn’t right for you.
When is Marriage Counseling Right for Us?
Life happens. The person who you once adored and respected might irritate the living waters out of you now. It’s never too late to try and resolve issues or mend broken hearts, trust, and comfort. Love truly does conquer all and when both partners really want to work hard at their marriage, counseling can be a way of treatment.
Some couples don’t even bother with marriage counseling because they think that their relationship is too far gone. The hurt that was caused is too unbearable. In these cases, you can consult a therapist for guidance and help.
Many couples seek help from marriage counselors who are going through the following problems:
- Lack of trust and respect
- Can’t forgive and move on from past hurt
- Problems with communication and miscommunication
- Infidelity and unfaithfulness of one or both partners
- Financial uncertainty and pressure
- Problems with intimacy and sex life
- Blended family issues
- Loss of love or feelings of being in love
- Not understanding each other’s point of view
- Lives are moving in different directions
- Struggling with both physical and emotional connection
Even though these are the most common reasons why people resort to marriage counseling, there are many other pressures that modern couples face that will lead them to a therapist.
One thing is for sure, couples shouldn’t avoid seeking professional help because they are embarrassed to admit that things aren’t how they used to be. Couples don’t usually talk about their problems with other couples.
Keeping up appearances can be extremely important to many. Don’t be fooled by the perfect façade that is portrayed on social media or when you are at a social gathering – all couples have their fair share of struggles.
Seeking help shouldn’t make you feel inadequate or embarrassed. At the least, you should feel empowered in that you can admit when there are problems and that you are doing something about it.
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Can Counseling Save My Marriage?
That depends, doesn’t it? Whether you really want to save your marriage.
Saving a marriage that is near its end can be really difficult. But not all is lost, when both partners are committed to each other and really want to work at it, you will be able to save the relationship through hard work and commitment.
With the guidance of a counselor, couples can achieve new heights in their relationships for sure. Couples who really love each other can move past anything when both put in the work and time.
In truth, counseling can’t save your marriage – only you and your partner can. Regardless, therapy can definitely give you the tools on how to do it and guide you through the repairing process.
Counseling has been proven to help couples in the following ways:
- Improve communication skills and understanding each other’s different love languages
- Strengthen connection either physically or emotionally
- Guide partners to move past infidelity or an affair
- Assist in setting healthy boundaries
- Improves the bond between family members and how to cope with new family members
- Rebuilding trust and respect between each other
- Understanding each other’s viewpoints, believes, and dreams of the future
- Guiding through a new lifestyle change like having a baby or moving cities
- Self-acceptance and being an individual within a unity
It’s important that partners make each other a priority to ensure that the relationship is always important. As long as you and your partner are ready to put in the work, marriage counseling will definitely be a great tool that can assist in the road to recovery.